Fears of Being a Single Mom Kept Me in a Toxic Marriage. Why You Shouldn’t Ignore Signs of Infidelity

By: Jordyn Taylor | Jan. 16, 2019

I told myself and others that I would keep quiet about the reality series “Growing Up Botched”

… or “Growing Up Hip Hop”

And, I deleted some ugly truths from my Instagram page, as a means to heal and move on from the pains of my past.

But, since the demise of my family is currently being aired for entertainment purposes on WE TV, I find it only fitting to use this experience as a teachable lesson to other women and/or men.

GUHH Promo Clip

What I’ve learned from this experience is to ALWAYS trust my gut, no matter what.

Energies don’t lie. 

Don’t be a fool in love like me, ladies and gentlemen. READ THE SIGNS, or it will blow up in your face, on social media, or on TV!

For days, and sometimes weeks, we drove around in his mistress’s white Range Rover.

We even went on several “date nights” using her vehicle.

Of course I questioned why his “boss” was so generous with her luxurious SUV. It doesn’t matter what excuse he used… I went along with it. 

Not long after, there were gifts being delivered to our house (Designer wallets, an Apple Watch, etc) … thanks boss!

Next, Pepa was insistent on meeting me, just so I would feel more comfortable with their “working relationship” ya know?! 

So, we had dinner at Mastro’s in Beverly Hills for my birthday, followed by VIP service at an exclusive LA nightclub.

After months of being a housewife and a stay-at-home mom, I needed a wild night of fun, and had a blast!

So, I graciously thanked the two of them online for giving this “new mom” a well deserved hangover!

Despite the “turn up” that night, I remember feeling a strange energy, but I couldn’t tell if it was the patron shots or my intuition. So, I put on a lovely smile, rejecting my concerns & standing by my man. 

Plus, after several failed attempts to kiss me, in the night club, I was convinced that “P” wanted “The P” – meow!

She was so affectionate. We held hands a few times and she kept rubbing all over me in the car, and in the club. (Sorry guys, there was no threesome, I’ve never been with a woman, and I’m not attracted to women.)

Video of me and Pepa

But, while in the car, I remember her hair and makeup artist, Troy, saying: what kind of sister wives sh*t is this? Are you going to have him and his wife?  

Huge red flag, but of course I disregarded his remarks, and blamed it all on the liquor. 

Then, there were all the business trips and awkward phone calls where she’d say: tell Jordyn I said hi! 🙄 And my deceitful husband saying, “P. really likes you, babe.”

I remember on Halloween, she called repeatedly to see what we were doing. Annoyed, I thought: we’re trick or treating with our son – like most families. Now, go get a bowl, you old witch, pass out candy to the kids… and leave my family alone! 

But the hubby defended her lonely calls – explaining that she was new to LA, didn’t have any friends & just wanted to hangout with “us”

One night, there was a text message that read: I wish you were here! 

Again, I chose to believe my hardworking husband. She was talking about him “being there” as her security guard. Silly me for thinking otherwise! 

I even accepted their narrative that she was his mentor, or like he said “an aunt” to him.

A blind man could see these were lies, yet I chose not to!

And, I can’t forget the epic request for Auntie Sandra to be our daughter’s god mother!

Our gender reveal

One evening our toddler found a wad of cash in daddy’s lunch bag.

“Where’d we get so much money honey?”

But, instead of answering the question, I was accused of snooping around. This is why he couldn’t trust me!

Deflection is sign of infidelity. It’s a tactic nearly every cheater uses. I knew this, yet still chose to stay.

Here’s the lesson: 

Don’t fight so hard to keep your family together that you close your eyes to the truth. I know walking away from your marriage/relationship is scary, especially when children are involved.

But, “til death do us part” does not mean your spouse gets to take advantage of you.

It took me a while to accept this, and to accept the fact that the family we were building was over!

I was so in love. And desperately wanted my son and daughter to have a two parent home. A family with one shared last name and united by love and happy memories together.

Family memories

But, regardless of how you imagine your life, or how “picture perfect” your family may look, it’s imperative to love yourself more. Leave if things don’t feel right, and if your partner breaks his/her commitment to the relationship. 

I feared being a single mom! That had me stuck on stupid.

But, what I once feared is now making me stronger than ever! I’m evolving as a woman, and I’m so grateful to be free from all the lies.

Single mom strong

Most importantly, I’m motivated to be a good role model for my daughter. She will grow up knowing her worth and honoring herself because her mommy is doing it now!

Super Blessed

It’s essential to be clear about who you are as a woman, before you can be a wife, a mother, a sister, or a even a good friend.

We teach people how to treat us when we decide to stay or leave.

And, while searching for answers and trying to heal from the destruction of my family, I learned that we are not seeking love when we stay in an unfaithful or unhealthy relationship, we’re seeking acceptance & validation.

If this is you, do what I did and get to the core of why you’re seeking someone’s approval! Walk away from anyone who dishonors you in any relationship.

I take full responsibility for the role I played in the downfall of my marriage. More than ever, I now know the importance of using my gut as my guide. 

I’m loving myself more by setting firmer boundaries & I’m no longer making excuses for people who hurt me. (I.e. he has trust issues, he was abused, he’s been hurt in the past.)

Take those love shades off and see people for who they are. There’s no excuse for being mistreated.

If I had loved myself more, my family would have never been on “The Wendy Williams Show” with the host mocking Salt N Pepa’s throwback song, “I’ll take yo man!” 

Wendy Williams video clip

I’m not sure if either of us were born during that era, or during Pepa’s “golden years.” But, I do know she didn’t take my man. She bought him – for about the same amount that she probably paid for her “bonus booty” and chemical peels.

It’s too bad we can’t buy wisdom with age!

Be blessed my friends. 

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